My first fight over my body with a doctor happened when I was 19 years old.
My mother took me to this doctor because I’d received a diagnosis of dysplasia, which is considered a pre-cancerous condition. An RN who worked at the University of Chicago hospital at the time, my mother rather predictably freaked out at my diagnosis, which is why I didn’t want to tell her in the first place. However, I was smart enough to know I needed her help with this, so I included her.
She chose a well respected specialist in gynecology at the U of C, and off we went. I was dismayed that the doctor was a man with no discernible warmth or kindness in his face, eyes, or voice. At the time, I was used to the gentle, kind doctors I’d met at Planned Parenthood, true healers all, and I knew this doctor and I weren’t going to get along.
I’d gone into his office prepared to be heard when I said I intended to go off the birth control pills I’d been on for over a year, because they were causing this problem I was having.
To me it was a no brainer: I knew the pill was having a negative effect on my body, I didn’t like the way I felt while on it, and I knew my body didn’t like it either. My intuition told me to stop taking it and I’d be fine. Once I’d made this decision, as far as I was concerned, I was done.
I naively assumed that the doctor would actually listen to me and share my views, or at least respect them.
However, the doctor was old school and didn’t want to hear a thing I had to say. Instead, he wanted me to validate his great knowledge and experience, which didn’t include having a female body, but no matter.
I was only 19, what did I know about my own body? I was there to follow his orders. He informed me that it was well known that the pill didn’t cause dysplasia. (Several years later the very pill I’d been on was removed completely from the market, because its ‘side’ effects included reproductive cancers, stroke, and death.)
His attitude combined with my mother’s embarrassment at her daughter’s non-acquiescence to authority, only caused me to dig in my heels.
I was going to go off these pills, dammit, because they were causing this problem. My knowing kicked into high gear and self protection showed up as my main agenda.
It was the beginning of a brilliant career in questioning authority.
I had reached adulthood, and all of the years spent as a child who wasn’t allowed to decide for herself were behind me. I was prepared to make choices, but I still didn’t have the information I needed.
In the late 1970’s, questioning a specialist’s authority was not something a lot of people did. It wasn’t considered to be a smart move. I am sad to report that the 21st century has not seen a lot of change here.
One of the best lessons I learned from this experience was that I had to listen to my knowing, my intuition, and my body. I didn’t know how to do a lot of this yet, there was still too much fear programmed in that said I didn’t have the right to be an expert of my own body.
I still respected the doctors I went to, but now I expected them to include me as a partner in my healing. This meant that I needed to learn how to heal myself, and to take responsibility for the choices I made.
I knew deeply that I could heal myself.
I began to let go of unconsciously using antibiotics with every symptom that came along, and to seek out alternative methods of healing instead. I bought herbs, tinctures, and supplements, and used good nutrition to prevent illness.
Every time I took a step with this, I was validated. I also starting going to healers such as chiropractors, naprapaths, and acupuncturists to create wellness.
Relying less and less on conventional medicine, my attitude toward health and wellness shifted in a positive way.
Even after all of this, there was something I knew I was missing.
It was time to get to know and begin working with the most powerful part of me: my spirit.
Yes, I’d stopped allowing others to be in charge of my health. But I knew I had more to learn; no matter how many herbs I took, or how much healthy food I ate, I was still taking on the energy of others, and it was affecting my own energy levels, and my health as a result.
This is when I began meditating, and then joined an intensive clairvoyant training. This helped me know and heal myself deeply in a way I couldn’t have previously imagined.
When I began to understand that the energy I’d been absorbing from other people was affecting my own wellness and well being, I started changing how I allowed others to dump their energy on me.
A lifelong healer, I’d been unconscious for many years about how much of an effect the energy of others was having on my body, emotions, and spirit. I had to admit that I’d been acting as an out of control healer, and taking on responsibilities that weren’t mine.
As I became more consciously aware of my own spirit, I began to also listen more to my body.
My health improved in more ways than I could have imagined before doing this.
As a clairvoyant, I learned how to see and change the agreements I had with other people and with my own body. I learned to trust and validate my body’s wisdom, and to follow the information I received about healing myself. I also learned how to be a better healer in my work with others.
All healing is self healing. You heal because you the being choose to do so. Yes, good healers and doctors can help you, but ultimately it is you who holds the power here.
You choose even when you allow others to make your choices for you. If you decide to own your own body, you can do so. I encourage you to start today.
Image by SuzenEye found at Morguefile