It’s that time again. You’d think I’d be used to this by now, but I’m still hitting that old familiar resistance.
Big time change is here, again, and though I’m welcoming this one, it’s a bit nerve wracking. I know that if I allow myself to roll with it, it will get easier. Still, part of me is fighting letting go of the old identity I’ve been hauling around.
The transformation is here to give me more space and freedom to be exactly who I am. The demands I’ve placed upon myself to make sense and be responsible, are falling away. Yet part of me resists. This stubbornness on my part is what’s making it more uncomfortable for me, though I know I will eventually drop that resistance.
There’s so much energy caught up in the old one, and a lot of that energy isn’t even mine. Some of that resistance is from others who, consciously or not, fear my changes. This is more about them than it is me.
As I surrender to the changes I’m choosing to create, a new awareness creeps in, another way to see myself. I get to relax a bit more, show my true colors, and finally let go of holding space for others more than is good for me.
Healing follows, along with an influx of energy and new information. Finally, a new vision is arriving, and it’s almost time to act. I’ve got some new things to create. First up on my agenda: I get to have more fun. Otherwise what’s the point?
Going through this again isn’t exactly a surprise for me. It’s the plan. That doesn’t mean that it’s easy, or that I have all the answers at my fingertips. It’s not and I don’t. Like you, I’m searching, I’m looking, I’m asking, I’m transforming.
Conscious transformation became much easier once I learned that it came from within.
Before I became conscious of my spirit, I used to look for my answers outside of myself. I didn’t know I had so much power to choose and create, though I had a feeling that there was more here than met the eye. I saw myself as being responsible for many things and people, that in reality I have no responsibility for. Meanwhile, I wasn’t fulfilling my true responsibilities to my own body and spirit.
This is what I teach, what I talk about with my students and clients. I encourage others to transform themselves every day. I teach tools to help them do this, I give readings, I do healing work. I don’t do others’ work for them, because that’s their job, and their choice.
It takes a lot of time, energy, and spiritual commitment to set things in motion, to let them grow. It’s an art form to create a business, a relationship, a home.
It’s also an art to create yourself. You’re never finished, and you don’t have to be perfectly complete. In fact, if you try to find the perfect in your self-creating, you may get stuck there, believing on some level that you have to maintain that perfection. This can happen when some of your fans have decided that you’d be even better if only you changed the way they’d like you to change. Suddenly you’re not your own work of art anymore. You’ve allowed the committee to decide how you should be.
When you decide to change the form, or to transform, it’s necessary to step away from the old applause. New beginnings are a great time to check your need for outside validation and approval.
Every ending brings a new beginning, even if you have no idea how that looks yet.
The main thing is, it’s easier to be a critic than it is to do your work and risk sharing it with the world. If the fear of beginning something new and strange holds me back because I’m afraid of what others will think, I will fail. I may achieve a ‘critical success’, but if I didn’t do my true work, I will have sold myself short.
So here’s what a transformation is really about: a new identity. A new skin, new space, new pictures of what is, and what’s possible. If one has been comfortably positioned inside of the old container, the total transformation is not comfortable, not at first.
Being too safe and comfortable can be stifling. Many people surrender to this, because after all, isn’t this what makes a good life – safety, affluence, and comfort? Why would anyone want to disturb that?
Why indeed? Maybe because too much comfort becomes stifling and boring, or because if you don’t take a risk or change anything, you won’t grow. It’s why so many people around the world are rising up to create change. It’s why many people are not content with the same old way of doing things.
You can see this in the U.S. Presidential race for 2016. Bernie Sanders represents a new way of doing things in this country and on earth, which inspires a lot of people already deep in discomfort. Humans generally don’t create big revolutionary changes when they are content and happy. Don’t go changing anything!
While you’re at it, stop keeping up with the Joneses.
There’s a funny idea of success floating around, and it has been for a long time. Success, according to this way of thinking, can be determined by how well you’re doing financially, what schools your kids go to, what neighborhood you live in, or what others think about you. What designers are you wearing, who do you know, and again, what do others say about you? How do you compare?
Your identity can be tied up in your money, relationships, position, groups, clubs, talents, body, age, status. If you take any of these things seriously and make them your identity, you’ll experience greater pain if and when they change and shift.
Identity cannot be rushed. It’s not always convenient. Old worn out self images are boring, and you will be bored with yours. It can feel like you’re stuck inside of a script you didn’t write. Destruction of the old, in this case, is welcome and healing. The old needs to go, and you need it to go now.
When you change your identity fearlessly, when you choose to dig deep and let go of an old way of being, you destroy the old stuck ways and images. Your inner fearlessness has tremendous and lasting effects on the world around you.
By transforming yourself, by risking displeasing others around you, risking failure, risking bad reviews, financial meltdowns, you are giving to us all. You create revolution, truly you do, from within.
“What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think – or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?” -Brene Brown