Nobody knows you better than you know yourself.
If someone tells you they know you better than you do, they are misinformed. They might be saying that they know who they want you to be, who you are ‘supposed’ to be, or who you want them to think you are.
Meanwhile, the actual truth of who you are might be hidden and protected down deep, under a surface of demands, responsibilities, beliefs, agreements, and other people’s energy.
Your truth might be so well hidden that even you are having a hard time seeing it. You might not know yourself, the real you, at all. This can make it difficult for you to change, and therefore to possibly disappoint the people around you: family, friends, workmates, clients, neighbors. Perhaps the demands on you to be how you are now are so great that you haven’t been able to look through them to see your own truth.
What happens when you change how you see yourself in order to become who you really are?
Other people around you now have no choice but to adjust to your new found truth. Some of them might resist, pout, get angry, or refuse to respect your wishes. You are making demands on them, after all, just by showing up in your new truth. It was so much easier for them before, and now they are disappointed. In other words, you’re wrong. ‘Give me back the illusion, I don’t want your truth!’ they will demand.
If your previous self image didn’t allow for you to make any demands or own your space in these relationships, this can really blow a few people’s minds. If there are people in your life who don’t like you to be your true self, perhaps they are not your friends.
The thing about seeing and knowing something is that it’s really hard to un-see or un-know it. You’re forced to make a choice. Choose wisely.
On the positive side, some of the people in your world will celebrate your new freedom (knowing yourself is spiritual freedom), and you will meet more people who are validating for you. Your relationships can grow and evolve, because you are being your true self. No apologies or explanations are needed when you are being you. An added bonus is that when you allow yourself to be who you truly are, others around you feel safer to be themselves. Win-win.
Remember that last movie you saw where the hero or heroine decided to finally begin to stand up for him/herself? Did you find it inspiring, and maybe even a little bit frightening? It might feel scary for you to make a big shift, especially if you are letting go of so much in the process. Amazing things begin to surface when you decide to know the most important person in your own life – you. If you choose to be the most important energy in your own space, your life will shift into being more of how you want it to be, effortlessly.
It helps to become aware of the other people and energies you’ve allowed to define you. It’s time to kick them out, especially if you want to get clearer within yourself about who you are.
Helpful tools to help you know yourself:
1. Truth – your own. You can begin by honestly answering that all important question: what do you really want? Are you living your own truth, or are you pretending things are fine the way they are now because it’s too hard and/or inconvenient to change them? Remember that what is true for you is not necessarily true for others. And vice versa. It’s your job to decide whether you will follow your truth, or not. No competition with others is required, you win by finding yours and living it.
2. Forgiveness. Begin by forgiving yourself, then move on to others, then back to you. Repeat. What to forgive? Here’s a short list: you are not perfect; they are not perfect; you make mistakes sometimes; so do the others. Do this daily.
3. Let go. As in, stop being such a control freak. What you are trying to control might be controlling you. Do your body a favor and allow it to release the tension it carries from the strain of trying to control everything. Holding on to all of that stuff will definitely hurt your body. If your body is happy, it is easier for you to be in it and have your life how you want it to be. It will help you to have a daily practice of some kind: meditation, exercise, writing, affirmations, quiet time, walking, dancing. Change your daily routine as needed. The key is to show up daily and do something.
4. Ground yourself. Grounding is a miracle, and one of the simplest techniques you can practice. It is also sometimes the most difficult, due to that very simplicity. Grounding is as old as the earth, and as deep. One way to ground yourself: sit comfortably, have your feet flat on the floor, close your eyes, and create a connection from your lower body deep into the earth. Release any energies you are holding onto that don’t feel right for you. Stay conscious while doing this. It’s fun and feels good too!
5. Listen to that still small voice within. Are you muffling that inside voice under a layer of busyness, overworking, worry, control, guilt, or being a victim? It’s time to stop blaming outside energies or circumstances and begin taking responsibility for yourself. Take some quiet time every day to listen to yourself, without judgment. This is how you can also begin to access your other psychic abilities, like your intuition, inner voice, and so on.
Not everyone wants to get to know themselves. Many people are perfectly happy following the blueprint that’s been laid out for them, and that’s fine. You don’t need to worry about them or try to change a thing for anyone else. How about this instead: you do this for yourself, and become a great example of what is possible?
Life is all about spiritual growth. Simply put, we are here to grow, learn, and experience. When you choose to find your own truth, to tell yourself the truth, and to live by it too, you will find your own genius.